Why My Dog Is Barking

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One of my favorite things I see on Facebook these days are the “Why My Baby Is Crying” posts. If you haven’t seen these, it is basically baby/toddler shaming in the form of posting a picture of your tantrum throwing cherub on the floor because you won’t let them eat a stick of butter or wear your cowboy boot as a hat. And let me tell you… IT IS AWESOME! Birth control that even the Vatican can get behind.

I don’t have kids but I have a toddler-aged Golden who throws a good 5 to 10 tantrums a day. So hey, I want to play too, so I’m starting the “Why My Dog Is Barking” hashtag.

So here goes…

Because he thinks there is a monster every time something clinks in the dishwasher.

Because he heard another dog bark on the TV.

Because there is a gaggle of 300 geese in the front yard throwing up some gang signs.

Because my husband just stopped playing the foot wrestling game.

Because he thinks all commands starting with S are “Speak”.

Because in his mind, the time it takes me to enter the front door to cross the living room to let him out of his crate equals eternity in dog years.

Because the guilt of leaving him in said crate each day isn’t gut wrenching enough, he must twist the knife as I drive away.

Because I won’t let him in the shower with me every morning.

Because the other dogs are stealing all his belly rubs at the dog park.

Because I won’t let him eat my nachos.

Because he can see me outside petting the neighbor’s dog.

Because he can’t sprout wings to fly and catch those elusive birds.

Because I’m unwilling to run people down in the parking lot to get him to the dog park faster.

Because his toy is stuck in the couch cushions again.

Because our other dog has no interest in entering a third straight hour of being slobbered to death.

Because he can’t catch his own tail.

Because, just because.

Please share why your dog is barking and we can let the shaming begin!

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14 thoughts on “Why My Dog Is Barking

  1. Trish I laughed so hard and then had coughing fit and lost my voice because I am sick. You need a warning at the beginning. Like if you have a chest cold, wait until you are better to read this. Lmao. It is sooooooo true for my Charlie as well.

  2. I don’t have a dog, but my mom’s one year old cat became enamored with this bright orange flag that came with a pedal car my nephew got for Christmas. The flag was at the top of a four foot plastic pole about half the diameter of a pen. He tried climbing it a few times before resigning to sitting on the floor, staring up at it and yowling. Eventually I walked over, loosened the flag and lowered it for him. He batted it around for a few seconds before he lost interest and sauntered off under the kitchen table for a nap.

    • That is awesome! pets are so weird. as I was writing this last night i looked over to find my dog barking at his own tail because he couldn’t catch it. I can only wish my problems were this simple. Thank you for your comment!

  3. Because it is dinner time and he has an internal clock that is freakishly accurate.
    Because a member of our household dared to go outside, and then re-enter.
    The dog next door barked–it would be rude not to respond.
    There’s a squirrel whose taunting needs attending to.
    Because there’s a leash, oh-m’gosh-the-leash! LEASH!

    • Oh Yes, especially the dog next door! Funny thing is my boy doesn’t bark at people when they come over. the one thing you would expect! thank you for your comment! I still want to know how dogs can tell time. Mine knows 3 min before my alarm is going to go off, and it never fails!

      • As a dog trainer, I took my little guy out to help other dogs who needed socializing. However, as soon as it got to be 5:00, he would start roo-rooing: “Hey! I know we’re not at home, but it’s still time to fill the ole pie hole! Hey, are you listening?! FILL MY PIE HOLE!”
        He cracks me up!

      • so funny! ours just stares at us and makes this high pitched whine that only other dogs can hear. he knows that 7;30 pm is dinner time!
        very cool that you are a dog trainer!

  4. My dog barks because there is a dog two streets over who is barking. He cannot allow this to go unanswered. There is something about dusk when all dogs in the neighborhood get the bark chain going. I like to go out and listen. I’d really like to know what they are saying.

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