One of my favorite things I see on Facebook these days are the “Why My Baby Is Crying” posts. If you haven’t seen these, it is basically baby/toddler shaming in the form of posting a picture of your tantrum throwing cherub on the floor because you won’t let them eat a stick of butter or wear your cowboy boot as a hat. And let me tell you… IT IS AWESOME! Birth control that even the Vatican can get behind.
I don’t have kids but I have a toddler-aged Golden who throws a good 5 to 10 tantrums a day. So hey, I want to play too, so I’m starting the “Why My Dog Is Barking” hashtag.
So here goes…
Because he thinks there is a monster every time something clinks in the dishwasher.
Because he heard another dog bark on the TV.
Because there is a gaggle of 300 geese in the front yard throwing up some gang signs.
Because my husband just stopped playing the foot wrestling game.
Because he thinks all commands starting with S are “Speak”.
Because in his mind, the time it takes me to enter the front door to cross the living room to let him out of his crate equals eternity in dog years.
Because the guilt of leaving him in said crate each day isn’t gut wrenching enough, he must twist the knife as I drive away.
Because I won’t let him in the shower with me every morning.
Because the other dogs are stealing all his belly rubs at the dog park.
Because I won’t let him eat my nachos.
Because he can see me outside petting the neighbor’s dog.
Because he can’t sprout wings to fly and catch those elusive birds.
Because I’m unwilling to run people down in the parking lot to get him to the dog park faster.
Because his toy is stuck in the couch cushions again.
Because our other dog has no interest in entering a third straight hour of being slobbered to death.
Because he can’t catch his own tail.
Because, just because.
Please share why your dog is barking and we can let the shaming begin!